How To Build Your Self-Esteem: Challenge Fear

Conquer Your Fear © by Lel4nd

In the wake of low self-esteem comes fear and anxiety. To improve your self-esteem you have to challenge your fears. Do scary stuff that makes you feel in control.

I have always had fear of heights. Standing on the two first steps of a ladder was enough for me to feel dizzy; it was even problematic for me to stand on a chair. I beat the fear by forcing myself to challenge heights. I started slow to get used to the heights. If I climbed a tree I would keep going until I felt the fear in my stomach and then I climbed one step further and froze on the spot. My heart was beating in my throat and I almost peed my pants. I would sit there waiting and waiting and waiting. I kept waiting until I got used to the situation and my heartbeat got normal. I repeated this process again and again and again.

You can face fear in different ways:

  1. Face the fears you know. Face the things you know you are scared of and do it slowly like I climbed the tree. This way you push your limits instead of transcending them.
  2. Do dangerous things. Do activities that you do not face in your everyday life. E.g. climb a mountain site; abseil a house; go parachuting; dive with piranhas etc.

This way you will learn to love fear and if you love fear you will be comfortable with fear.

What I love about fear is the rush I get. The feeling is hard to describe but it makes me feel invincible and high. The body produce stress hormones that make you feel excited and after doing something dangerous you feel better than ever.

Task no. 3: Face you fear and feel your heart beat. Stay in that feeling until it settles down again. The hardest thing is to take the step into the unknown but the reward is many times worth it. Here are a few techniques you can use when you face your fears:

  1. Yell at them.
  2. Laugh at them.
  3. Scare them away.
  4. Ridicule them

To be in control you have to choose the fears to face, do not wait for them to choose you!

How To Exercise

If you want to keep your body tuned to overcome the daily challenges successfully, then make your exercise schedule comply with the rules of thumb I have set up below. Keep in mind that vacuuming, taking the stairs or working is not exercise. I agree that doing your daily activities is much better than sitting in your armchair doing nothing, but it is just not enough if you want a body for success.

If you want to stay in shape and be vital then you need to exercise all your life; make exercise part of your lifestyle. You need to exercise all aspects of your body.

  1. Exercise 3-4 times a week
  2. Vary your training
  3. Focus each training pass on cardio workout, strength training or stretching.
  4. Do specialised training (e.g. swimming technique or rowing or martial arts) Specialised training will help you setting and reaching goals.
  5. Meditate
  6. Be consistent – attend training even if you do not feel up to it. Usually you will feel better during or after training.
  7. Read and philosophise to exercise your brain.
  8. Have fun exercising (e.g. play games)

I attend swimming twice a week and go to the fitness centre as often as possible and I run 7 km once a week. I can recommend the fitness centre because it offers different work out classes that makes it easy to vary training.

If you are thinking: “I do not have time for all that” or “I am to tired to do all that exercise” – then it is time for you to get started because you will realise that you will get the time and energy to do it. You will feel more energetic and efficient in your daily routines.

Exercise prevents heart disorders, stress, workplace injuries and mental disorders.


How To Be Efficient

The world is dynamic and never stands still. Even when if you try to stand still your body functions will still be working. Your heart beats, your blood flows and your lungs breathe. Take a look at a river it looks the same on a distance, but close up you see how the current makes the water flow and makes small changes all the time. The river is in constant flow and constant change and is never the same.

The river never has to stop and think about what to do next – it keeps a constant flow. Imagine what would happen if did the same? I suggest that you try to see yourself as a river in constant movement, a steady and calm flow. If you do, you will realise that you can be much more efficient without stressing. Let me show you how to do it:

Start with small and easy processes like dressing or maybe cooking simple meals. The most important thing is to remember that you have to be in constant movement and never stop. The trick is to visualise your next step while doing the preceding step. E.g. while putting on your t-shirt you decide to put on your jeans after that; visualise yourself putting on the jeans and when you finish putting on the t-shirt you continue the flow reaching for the jeans. As this process starts, like you visualised, you start thinking about the next step. Continue until you have finished dressing.

This is also a great way to tidy up. It is quite fun and you do not have to hurry; actually you have to do it slower; slow enough to keep a steady flow that allows you to think about the next step. The great thing is that in spite of the slower pace you will finish faster than normal. You will also feel relaxed and energetic; you will be happy.

Would you like to know more about flow?

How To Put The Time To Good Use

About 18 years ago I lost my watch and I felt awful. Suddenly I did not know what time I was and how can anyone live without knowing the time? Well – today I am happy to say that I feel more joy and less stress without knowing the exact time.

20 years ago I would only wear waterproof watches because then I did not have to take it of when I took a shower. My watch never ever left my wrist. I lost it the one time I did take it of and of course I got a new one after a couple of months. Being without a watch for a couple of months made me think. I noticed that I looked at my watch quite often and sometimes, when people saw that I looked at my watch, they would ask me – What time is it? – The strange thing was … I did not know! I had to look again!

The moment that it occurred to me that I looked at my watch without actually seeing the time I decided never to wear a watch again. I used to be stressed about time and all the things I had to do before a certain time and quite often there were things I did not do because I did not think there would be time enough to do it.

Today I do not have a watch to wear and I do not have visible watches anywhere in my flat. I found that living beings have a very good sense of time and I am usually able to state the time within a ten minutes margin. Instead of relying on a watch telling me what to do I am listening to my mind and body; and that have opened a new world to me where I really get a lot of things done because I am seldom stressed and never have to worry about time.

How do I make appointments on time? – I use my phone to remind me when to leave home. But I only do this for appointments where time matters. E.g. Last week my girlfriend and I had to visit my sister. We promised to be there before dinner but no specific time. We did not know when the bus would leave, so we just went to the bus terminal when we were ready. It was a 15 minutes walk and we had a good chat and fun on our way. We enjoyed the sun and everything around us; we were relaxed and happy. We arrived one minute before departure – it was perfect timing! But I am sure that if we knew this, we would have stressed all the way to the bus terminal and we would have been sweaty and exhausted and all the way we would have worried if we would make it in time.

Time is not all that important; remember that time is something we invented to make life easier, but do not let time rule your life.

Learn more about time