When You Rephrase Reality You Gain Exciting Opportunities


Rephrase © Erik Back 2012

Your phrasing habits make your reality. The words you use and the way you put them together form your perception of reality.

If you have a habit of applying negative words to all your sentences then your reality will be negative. The wind ruins your haircut; the rain wets your car; the dog next door keeps you awake and the sales assistant frowns upon your choice of style.

Choosing words that support your dreams and goals will attract people that can relate to what you say because they share your view of reality.

In the examples above you will attract self-centered people who focus on negative aspects of life. How will they help you reach your life goals? – They won’t!

Share realities

Imagine that all people have a pair of glasses; each pair of glasses are different so, reality looks different depending on the glasses you see through.

When you exchange glasses with someone, you see how this person’s reality looks like and to combine the two realities you adjust both pair of glasses to represent a reality you both agree on.

To exchange glasses you have to listen to the other person and tell about your own reality.

1. Listen to other people’s points of view; it is most likely that they don’t see reality the way you do. If you listen to people you will understand their reality and you can combine it with your own reality.

2. Tell your stories, but mind inappropriate phrasing. Pay attention to the words you choose and how they help convey your perception of reality. It is possible that you have to change some phrasing habits.

When you share or combine two or more perceptions of realities then a new one will emerge. That reality will be filled with new and exciting opportunities waiting to be explored. These opportunities will clear the way to your dreams and goals.

Your Personality 4: Chinese Astrology

Feng Shui Calculator © by DaveFayram

Yesterday I recommended using astrology to find your personality. There are different types of astrology and the Chinese astrology goes back to the Han Dynasty. I have tried using both western and Chinese astrology and they go well together in discovering your personality.

Chinese astrology covers much more than the stars’ influence on human life. It is part of a greater philosophy that encompasses feng shui and astronomy. Together these disciplines describe the flow of energy that forms the world and reality we live in. In Chinese philosophy everything is connected in some way and if you influence one set of energies then another will react. In western thinking we tend to divide things into topics that are not influenced by each other.

E.g. our health system is designed to cure problems. If you suffer from constipation then the doctor will give you some medicine to make it go away and send you home. The Chinese health system is based on the same philosophy as Chinese astrology is and it is called Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). In TCM constipation means that your lungs, stomach and bladder is out of balance as well and you have to treat these organs. TCM would recommend that you eat more yin-food because constipation is an imbalance in the yang energy.

As you can see, when you start thinking this way things start to become really complex. Everything is connected and your physical and mental health is influenced by all the energies around you. That is what Chinese astrology is about, it will show you how the energies will influence your life and how you can optimise your life and reach your dreams and goals by taking these energies into consideration.

Whether you believe in these energies or not is not important. The important thing is that Chinese astronomy takes another viewpoint on your personality and the result is a more varied description of who you are. You will get more details about what you can do to become a better person.

See your personal profile in Chinese astrology.

How to Be Positive: The Principle Behind

Clever Hans was not so clever after all...

Clever Horse? © by eXtensionHorses

Be positive! A message that I keep repeating and that you hear almost anyone who talks about self-improvement say. Being positive is a message that is repeated in almost any area that you are working on. E.g. Areas like self-esteem; self-confidence; being nice and having success etc. Today I will tell two small stories that demonstrate the positive principle.

Pygmalion was a Greek prince who was fed up with women wasting their lives on pleasure and amusement, so he preferred to live unmarried and single. Pygmalion was a very skilled sculptor and he decided to make a sculpture of the perfect woman. He made the sculpture in ivory and he named her Galatea. The sculpture of Galatea was so beautiful that Pygmalion immediately fell in love with her. He caressed her and gave her beautiful gifts to show his love to her. On the day where the Greeks celebrated Venus, Pygmalion kneeled at the altar of Venus and asked for a woman just like Galatea. Venus heard his wish and she decided to fulfil his request. When Pygmalion came home; he touched his beloved Galatea; and she became warm and alive.

Ovid lived for about 2000 years ago and he wrote this little story that illustrates how you can realise a vision by focusing on the positive aspects about it. Pygmalion could have chosen to focus on the women who wasted their lives but then he would never see anything but women wasting their lives. By focusing on his visions he managed to form his own future. Of course, this is just a story and things does not always turn out the way you want to, but by having a positive attitude to your visions, there is a good chance that you will realise some of them, especially if you can make other people believe in these visions and turn them into a collective image. The next little story will illustrate how something can exist if people believe it does.

Clever Hans was a horse that lived in 1904. Stumpt and Pfungst made some studies of this horse because it was exceptional clever. The owner of Clever Hans, Willhelm von Osten, had trained the horse to answer all kinds of questions; and the horse was never wrong. After some research it turned out that Clever Hans was not so clever, after all, because he could only answer questions for which you already knew the answer. The reason, that Clever Hans always gave the right answers was that he reacted on the body language of the person who put the question. Clever Hans simply finished his answer when the person’s body language reacted to the right answer. The horse did not know this, of course, but that was how it was.

These two stories demonstrate the positive principle and that we create the reality, we live in, ourselves. Both stories show how a dream, a vision or a simple wish can become real if you really want it to. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy that comes true based on resources we have inside ourselves.

How to Improve Self-Confidence: Positive Language

Yellowed pages from a dictionary © by Horia Varlan

I do not want to screw up! I hope it is not going to rain today. Why do I always stand in the slow line? I do not want cold coffee today etc. I know I have said it many times and I will continue repeating because it is very important: You need to have a positive focus; you have to focus on what you want, not what you do not want; you have to focus on what can do, not on what you cannot do.

I want …

I can …

You can get a positive focus by using your language. E.g. start all sentences with a positive word like: I want, I can or start with adjectives like: Great, fantastic, nice, cool, lovely etc. Example: Great cup of coffee you made today; fantastic job I did on the computer. If you are about to say something negative like – f… it is going to rain today! Then rephrase and say – I want to see the sun today!

In the negative case you would focus on every minute it rains but in the positive case you would focus on the sunny periods of the day. That will make you more happy and energetic.

Use the language

We use the language to construct the reality we live in. Niels Bohr said that we will always have a need to describe our findings and we can only do that within the limitations of our language. He also said that the truth depends on the eyes that see. Thus, you have the opportunity to choose your reality and present it with you language. You have to communicate your confidence and success in language and action.

Now, use your language to cause action; use it to make life go in the direction you want it to go; use it to strengthen your self-confidence and to make people acknowledge your actions and your success. Fantasy outshines reality and that is why you should take the opportunity to communicate your reality about yourself before other people make up another reality.

Let me give you an example: If you say to people that you are very bad at playing cards then how do you think the chances are that anyone will invite you to play? If you say that you love playing cards and that you would like to get better at it, then people are more likely to invite you.

How To Build Your Self-Esteem: Visualise

Mirror © by Ramona.Forcella

There is a story going around about Picasso the painter, I do not know if it is true or not, but it is a good story. A man wanted to give his wife a special birthday gift, he asked Picasso to paint him a portrait of his wife. Picasso agreed and started painting. Next day the man came to Picasso’s atelier to see the portrait and he was surprised to see that Picasso had put her nose in the front head, one eye was underneath the mouth and her ears were out of proportions.

– But that is terrible, the man objected, – that does not look like my wife at all! Picasso looked at him and asked – Then what does your wife look like? The man took a small photo out of his wallet and showed it to Picasso who remarked – she is very small!

The point is that both the portrait and the photo where creative reflections of reality. Picasso portrayed the wife in a way that he thought would reflect the reality he saw. The photo was just a reflection because the wife was not only 5 cm tall in reality.

Reality depends on the eyes that see; from my point of view the world may look different than from your point of view. My truth is different from your truth. We can try to make scientific tests that prove we are right, but science is not the truth either. Science is merely an attempt to understand the world.

How do you think people see you? If you have a low self-esteem you will claim that people see you the same way as you do – but they do not! It is you who choose who you are. This may come as a surprise to you, but people will see you the way that you choose to look like. If you look confident then people will see you like that, if you look depressed then people will see you like that and if you smile people will see a happy and open minded person.

Task no. 2: Spend ten minutes everyday visualising how you would like other people to see you. What kind of clothes are you wearing? How do you walk? Are you happy? Are you good at specific things? Take notes after visualising and decide what you can do to look like you visualised.

Task no. 1: Small Successes