Fail and You Will Succeed!

FAIL stamp © by hans.gerwitz

Sometimes failure can be demotivating, but failing is actually a good thing. If you change your view on failure then you will stop fearing failure. The only way to succeed and reach your goals is by failing a lot of times. People who do not fail do not have success! People with success seem to do everything right, but the far from do! They just choose to put focus on their successes rather than their failures.

What is the point of promoting all the failures you did when you present the result of your success? Failure serves you on your way towards your goals by teaching you what works well and what does not. After many attempts to reach your goals and dreams you get there because you know more about getting there than anyone else does. You got all this knowledge by failing.

If you lost your motivation because you failed, then you need to change your perspective on failure and believe in yourself; change your believe system. Do you think the football champions became champions the first time they entered the field? No, and they did not become champions the second time either! They became champions because they really wanted to and because the believed it was possible!

Why would they believe that after loosing their first 100 games? Because they have seen other teams make it to the top and if those teams can do it the so can this team. They did it because the wanted to, because the believed it was possible and that they had the potential.

To succeed in life and reach the goals you set on your way, you have to focus. You have to be 100 % present in what you are doing. Do not try reaching your goals, you should not just be trying, because you have the potential to do it and you can do it if you want to. Do not try – just do it! Learn by your failures because the will show you the path to success.

Life is hard and you will fail a lot of times, that is because success comes through failure, but trust me, you can do it; you have the potential and if other people can do it then so can you! Everything is possible! – Never give up and do not let other people define what is possible and what is not.

Change Your Belief System!

Woman climbing wall 2 © by Derrick Coetzee

Anything is possible! If you want to fulfil your dreams you have to believe that you can. Whatever you want to do you have to believe that you can do it; you have to believe that you have the potential to do it; you have to believe that it is possible.

Say: It is possible!

There are two important reasons to believe that you can do and become what you dream of. The first reason is that if somebody else has done it then it proves that it is possible, and if it is possible then you can do it too. The second reason is that if what you want to do has never been done before then it is possible because a lot of other people have done something that was thought to be impossible. It is only a matter of perspective.

When I met my girlfriend I kept insisting that everything was possible as long as you believed it was possible. The second you stop believing you will fail. She kept talking about all the things she could not do and I found several examples of people that have done it; if they can do it then so can she. My girlfriend was not convinced and after a while she got annoyed and gave me an absurd example: – If I want a star, she said and pointed to the star-covered night-sky, then you cannot bring it down to me! She truly believed that it was true that bringing a star down to give her was impossible.

After a bit of silence I just replied, – it is possible! I could see she did not believe me. I have to admit that at that point I had no idea how to make it possible. But after a couple of days I knew how to do it. It was a clear winter evening and the sky was covered with stars and it was extremely cold. I dragged her through frost and snow until we reached the observatory where I had booked a special presentation. I gave her the star that she did not believe I could give her.

Anything is possible; it is a matter of belief and a matter of perspective. If you want to do something then you have to change your belief system to anything is possible. Rationality and logic are toxic to ideas, creativity, dreams and new inventions. Rational and logic people do not believe in anything unless they have seen it with their own eyes. If they have not seen it then it cannot be done.

Reaching your dreams and goals and success is not a matter of logic it is a matter of believing, saying I can and never give up.

I Was Hurt! – Who Cares?

Erik Fool's hat

Fool? - I don't think so! @ Erik Back 2011

Today I felt hurt; first I got annoyed then angry; but after a bit of moping I turned my feelings into something positive. This post is a follow up story to my article “6 Ways to Stop Being Over Sensitive”.

Who cares if I was hurt by a stupid comment on my blog today? No one! (Well, except my mother.) It does not help complaining about other people’s wrong doings; you have to take responsibility for the situation and turn it into something good. That is what I did.

Today some guy posted a comment saying: – Learn how to spell fool! I thought to myself that this comment tells more about the commenter than about me. I decided to investigate the accusation of me being a fool: I have a master of science in economics; I have studied philosophy and culture in five different languages at the university; my post in question has been read by more than 15.000 visitors an more than 100 visitors have shared and liked it. My conclusion was that I am not a fool.

Then I examined my spelling; well, I must admit that I am not perfect in writing, but I think I do pretty well considering Danish is my native language. I sometimes mix up different languages because apart from Danish and English I also speak Spanish, German and Russian. Thus, I do not have to feel bad about my spelling. But I like learning something new and I want to become better at expressing myself. I found that I had used a word that does not look good: “Learnings”. It is grammatically incorrect and a bad habit invented in the world of marketing and business. Furthermore I discovered that I had left out a word!

Thanks to the commenter my post is now better than before; I learned something new about “learnings”; and I got an idea for my next series of posts on this blog: How to Be Nice to People.

You have to remember that cannot expect everybody to like you; there will always be someone who disagrees with you and negative people will always exist. You just have to choose to put focus on the positive and forget about the people who do not contribute in a positive way. You have the potential to do good things, so keep doing what you want to do and never give up because of negative comments.

How To Build Your Self-Esteem: Small Successes

CandlelightSelf-esteem is one of the most important things you have to work on in life development. Your self-esteem is developed early in life in the age of 3-6 yrs. If you have traumatic experiences from that period then your self-esteem needs work.

This post is about building self-esteem through small successes. The human brain is very complex and we still do not know its potential to the full. We have an unconscious mind that helps protect us from bad things.

E.g. the first time a child sees a candle flame the child will be amazed and curious. The child will feel attracted and want to investigate this new fascinating phenomenon. All senses will be used when exploring something new and vision is the first, next the sense of smell, then the sense of hearing. Now the child wants to feel and taste as well. The child will put his fingers into the flame and experience intense heat that makes the unconscious register danger. A defence system makes the child pull his fingers away. Next time the child sees a flame he will register danger before touching the flame.

This is a very useful human feature in life. But sometimes the unconscious registers danger when it should not. If the child experiences something traumatic early in life, then he will link the experience to what he made at that moment and feel that what he did was bad. The unconscious of the child will be convinced that his actions are not good enough and the feeling of success stays away. Later in life the adult child will avoid taking action and prefer to stay anonymous.

Task no. 1: Every day you have to list five small things you want to accomplish that day. They have to be small and easy tasks that you list on a to-do list. When you finish a task you check it on the list and take a minute enjoying the satisfaction of a job well done. When the day is over then take a look at all the things you did successfully. Make small tasks like paying a bill, making that call or cleaning up your desk. The actions have to be small and easy to demonstrate to yourself that you are capable of achieving goals. Sometimes you will fail, but do not worry because every time you fail you learn something new – and that is a success!