How To Be Successful: Positive Focus

Yes No © by jepoirrier

What do you find more stimulating, negative or positive stories? Personally I enjoy listening to positive stories. They inspire me and motivate me. Enthusiastic people that tell about their experiences are always interesting to listen to. The positive stories you tell will make you look successful. People will perceive you as successful.

When you take a positive focus it does not mean that you neglect the negative things in life. You will make mistakes and a lot of what you do will fail, but instead of whimpering about your bad experiences you have to evaluate the process and figure out what you can learn and do better. Then tell the story about what you will do next and how you expect the outcome will be.

To be successful you need other people to acknowledge what you do. If you sell something you need people to buy; if you are an actor you need people to watch. I.e. you need people to demand what you offer. Who would you feel attracted to? Who would you want to buy from? Who would you want to spend time with? – Negative people? No, you would want to associate with people with a positive attitude!

If you have a negative experience then there is always another experience you would rather have had. This means that for every negative situation, you have a wish for something better. You have to discover what that is and put your focus on what you want instead of what you do not like. E.g. if you have an ugly pink armchair that you are constantly complaining about, then all you will end up with is a pink armchair you are unhappy about. If you find out that you really want a Chesterfield chair then convey this message instead.

I will give you a few tips that will guarantee you a more positive attitude and make you feel more successful instantly:

  1. Tell positive stories about your experiences.
  2. Avoid participating in negative discussions. If you do, then listen and be the one to take a positive angle.
  3. Use positive wording. E.g. avoid negations like no, not, impossible, have not, cannot, will not etc.

How To Build Your Self-Esteem: Positive Focus

Attitude © by Heather T @

In my teenage years I spend a lot of time alone. I was convinced that people did not like me and that they never would like me. The odd combination of low self-esteem and a very high level of self-confidence made me seem extremely arrogant, bitter and negative. In the end it made me very lonely. I never spoke to anyone because I knew they would hate me. My isolation did not harmonise with my personality that is outgoing and talkative.

In my early twenties I realised this and I started to think about my own attitude. In general I had a very negative attitude towards everything. Even my humour was negative and sarcastic (well it still is sarcastic, but people seem to like it in small doses). I never smiled at anything and would only laugh if something bad happened to other people. I found that I did not even like myself very much, but I could not escape myself and even though I tried, I could not hide behind my flair and skills.

I started to adopt a more positive attitude. It was very difficult for me because of my profound negative attitude. The first task I gave myself was to write a journal everyday about whom I had talked to and what I said. My goal was to say something to someone every day. At first the journal only contained various sales assistant’s have-a-nice-day remarks. But this journal made me realise how important my own attitude was and how important it was to acknowledge and appreciate myself.

It took me about ten years to develop I fairly high self-esteem and today it is not a major problem to me. I get better every day and sometimes events from the past pops up and sometimes my former negative attitude comes out to say hallo, but in general my positive attitude has changed my life.

I will spare you a lot of work and reveal a small secret: For every negative situation you experience you have a wish for something better. Put focus on what you want instead of what you do not want. Ask yourself what you can do to get what you want instead of complaining about what other people did not do.

Task no. 13: Think about your general attitude towards yourself and the world around you. Spot negative thoughts and adopt a positive focus. Be careful and take small steps because this is a long process.