The Purpose of Habits

December 16, 2011 by 1 Comment

Day 33: Clarity & Peace of Mind © by .MegLynn.

When I started writing today I wanted to present you for the anatomy of habits, but I soon realised that it takes a lot more work to narrow it down to 350 words. I have discovered four different cycles that makes up a habit and each of these consist of 3-4 keywords. Instead I will try to explain the purpose of a habit.

All your habits serve a purpose and I think that purpose is to give you peace of mind and a sense of security. Habits are the building blocks of your life and you need some stability in your life to maintain peace of mind. You also need these building blocks to be flexible; you cannot live life based on the same habits because I believe that humans have a natural desire feel secure and be happy and we will do anything to be secure and happy.

It is not enough for you to be secure and happy because after a while you will start getting used to being secure and happy and you will not enjoy it as much. Eventually you will seek to do some more with your life; you will find a partner and start striving for security and happiness for the two of you. Then after a while you want more and more and more; we call that development and that is why you need habits to be flexible.

A habit in itself is extremely stable and changeless; that is the nature of a habit. A habit is supposed to be stable to serve the purpose of giving you peace of mind. Change does not bring peace. Change will make you feel uncomfortable and insecure; thus, change is the opposite of a habit. Change is supposed to stir up things and bring a bit of chaos. Out of change come new habits that will bring you a greater and renewed feeling of security and peace of mind.

E.g. what kind of toothpaste do you buy? Let me ask you: – why do you buy this specific toothpaste? Why not try another brand for a change? You will not because you would not be sure if it works as well as the one you are used to. Change will bring insecurity.

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How to Give Yourself a Motivational Speech

November 15, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Post-It Motivation © by Amy Loves Yah

If you are about to do something that takes extra motivation then a small motivational speech will help. Maybe you need to pull yourself together or maybe you have to do something you really do not want to, but have to do. Maybe your self-esteem is low and you need someone to acknowledge and motivate and that someone is you.

When your self-esteem is very low and you think that no one likes you then it is actually you that do not like yourself. People like you but you have to like yourself first. Think about it… how do you feel about people that do not like themselves? It is very hard to love someone that does not love oneself.

Exercise 1: Stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at yourself. Have you noticed that when you usually look at yourself you do not really look? Now, take a closer look and notice the person in that mirror. When you acknowledge your reflexion in the mirror and feel comfortable about it then you are ready for exercise 2.

Exercise 2: Stand in front of a mirror and look into your eyes. It sounds easy but it is extremely difficult to do because you get in touch with your inner self. But mind that this is the ‘you’ that other people meet. If you do not love yourself then how can you expect others to love you? When you can look yourself into your own eyes and keep eye contact, then you are ready to self-talk.

Exercise 3: Stand in front of a mirror; smile and look into your eyes and say – hi! Do this several days every time you pass a mirror and feel how it feels inside your body. You will feel a tickling sensation in your stomach called happiness. When you feel this you are ready to compliment yourself.

Exercise 4: Give yourself compliments while looking in the mirror. Look in your eyes; smile and compliment your looks.

Exercise 5: Your training is going well and you can start using this method to prepare yourself for big events or to motivate yourself for whatever you need motivation. Say to yourself that you can do what it takes and that people value you.

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How to Improve Self-Confidence: Exercise

November 4, 2011 by 1 Comment

Aggie Women

Doing sports and exercise indirectly improves your self-confidence because being physical active has a wide range of advantages: It keeps you both mental and physical fit; it improves your blood flow; it is energising and de-stressing at the same time; it improves your general fitness level no matter how good you are at it; it helps you to understand yourself and your body; it helps you develop professional skills; it improves your breathing, endurance and strength; It builds lean muscles that will give you a better posture.

Common mental training for athletes is imagery; they visualise themselves performing and that will help them reaching their goals and feel more self-confident. Sports are a great way to set realistic goals and reaching them. By reaching physical goals you will get the feeling of achievement and you will prove to yourself that you have the skills and ability to perform. That will help to improve your self-confidence in your everyday or professional life.

In my last post I explained how adrenaline is produced from fear; you can also produce adrenaline and endorphins by exercising. A typical side effect from doing physical exercise is that you will become more energetic and happy. Your general mood will be better and you will tend to be more positive and keep a good sense of perspective. If I feel down I do not want to exercise but I will do it anyway, because I know it will make me feel better.

The reason for the feeling of happiness is that the brain produces endorphins that have an effect like morphine. The endorphins will reduce pain and generate happiness.

When you feel down or depressed you also feel unable to perform; you would tend to feel inadequate and feel lack of self-confidence. But by doing exercise you will be able to perform in way that makes you happy. Being happy makes you see things from the bright site and that will improve self-confidence.

 

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How To Build Your Self-Esteem: Receive

October 14, 2011 by 1 Comment

Present from Evan! © by judsond

When you receive something it is an appreciation of you. Even a small favour or a compliment is an appreciation. If someone wants to give you something or do something for you it is because that person likes you and wants to show that by offering you something.

How do you feel if someone turns you down when you want to give? It feels great to give and see the happiness, the surprise and the joy it brings. To make someone else happy is the greatest thing. But remember that giving requires receiving. How do you feel about people that do not want what you have to offer?

First you would feel a bit offended and then you would feel the other person is arrogant. Later you would feel self-pity because what you have to offer is not good enough and then comes low self-esteem. If you turn down a favour, a present or a compliment then you will be perceived arrogant. If a person gives you something then take it, smile and say thank you. That person only wants to show you that you are worth giving something and by receiving you demonstrate that what this person has to offer is valuable to you.

Furthermore, would you like to receive from people who do not want what you have to offer? E.g. you come to a dinner party bringing a good bottle of red wine and offer it to the host. The host looks at it and gives you a shallow smile and puts your wine away in the kitchen. At the dinner table he offers you a brilliant red wine he picked up on his last trip to France. How would you feel? Would you enjoy the wine? I know I would not and I would feel inferior.

Task no. 12: Be ready to receive and say thank you when you do. Be aware that the act of giving is an appreciation of you because you are worth giving.

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5 Ways To Get Out If Depressed

September 27, 2011 by 2 Comments

Depressed in Paris.... © by Toni Birrer

“My back hurts and I just feel like lying down. The doctor says the pain is due to inactiveness and tells me exercise. But I cannot exercise because my back hurts and the only way to heal my back is to exercise… “ – I have heard this story I million times and I really do understand how hard it is to do one thing when every bone in your body want to do something else.

That is how depression is. We can all feel depressed now and then, it is like catching a cold that stays for a while and then gets better again. Some people are more depressed than other and the only thing you want to do is to isolate yourself and be alone and pity yourself and be negative about everything – the world really sucks when you are depressed! When you feel depressed all people are idiots that should go away and disappear.

But just like my introductory story about back pain that is cured by exercise, depression is best cured by positive experiences with other people. Here is what you can do:

  1. Take a walk! You do not need a purpose, just force your feet into their shoes and take a walk in the city. You will start feeling better almost immediately.
  2. Ask a friend out. Call someone – anyone – and meet for a cup of coffee at a café.
  3. Exercise. Go to the fitness centre or public swimming pool. Choose an activity where there will be other people.
  4. Seek crowds. If you see a crowd then go there and investigate.
  5. Say hello. Decide to greet a stranger. Say hello and smile to he first person you meet or maybe a facer or a shop assistant.

Believe me, you will feel better instantly!

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