Reaching for Help Is a Good Habit

Help! © by Dimitri N.

Kafka’s universe is starting to make more sense but the chaos is still there. Weekend is over and a new week has started with responsibilities that force me into some of my stabilising routines and habits. I was up at 5.30 today – although I usually aim at 6.28. But sometimes I have a client early in the morning.

I sat in quietude and let my mind wander – that is a good habit and a good start on the day.

The chaos inside me does not invite to carry out my habits because chaos is the opposite of habits. Habits are the routines that you repeat again and again to maintain inner peace. Chaos is not a routine and chaos does not stabilise; chaos is an inner earthquake that turns your brain upside down and confuses your brain cells to believe that they all need exercise at the same time.

My appeal for calm is useless; the only thing I can do is wait for my mind to calm down by itself. Sometimes the mind needs chaos because from chaos something new always develops. In times of change it is important to go with that change or you risk getting stuck in the past and your good habits will turn into bad habits. Thus, chaos is good although it doesn’t always feel good.

My brain cells all had their own seat and like in the cinema all the seats are numbered, but now someone has switched all the seats and it feels like my brain cells know what seat they are looking for but just can’t seem to find it. My head is dominated by confusion, but not by panic.

In situations like this you have to hold on to some of your habits to keep your foundation from falling apart. Some of it is crumbling but not all of it. Find the stable parts of your foundation and start building a new one as soon as your mind and brain cells starts to regroup and find order.

I use people in my network to support my foundation; people that already have a solid foundation that can hold my crumbling foundation are ready to help out. You should never be afraid to reach out for help when you need it. People around you also have a need to help you. Reaching out for help is a good habit.

Habits are Fragile Like a House of Cards

House of Cards © by Indenture

Something happened. Something always happens in your life, something unexpected. Sometimes it’s good things that happen and other times it’s bad things. Then there are also the things that will turn your life around and you don’t know if it is good or bad.

Today I belong to the last category; something happened and I don’t know if it is good or bad, but my life will never be the same again. New habits are fragile because they do not form the stable foundation you need in times of turmoil. So, today I woke up at 7.30 instead of 6.28. I got out of bed at 9.00! I didn’t sit in quietude and exercise – forget it!

There is no doubt that all my new habits would have been a great help, but right now they take energy that I don’t have. Good and healthy habits have to grow strong over time and if you disturb them or poke them around then they will fall apart like a dry sandcastle exposed to a happy dog.

Somehow habits are like a house of cards; I remember how strong I could build a house of cards but in the process it was extremely fragile and if one cards skidded out then the rest would fall apart. It was frustrating starting over and over again building that house of card. I don’t even know why I did it… maybe it was because of the satisfaction of accomplishing my mission?

Today I have learned that I have to accept that sometimes life happens and it is more unpredictable than you can ever imagine. I have to find a way to continue building good and healthy habits under new conditions because they will help me get through hard times in life.

Can the making of good habits go too fast?

Scaffold Tree © by Webb Zahn

I was up at the usual time at 6.28; I poured myself a glass of water and sat for a while. It was nice just sitting there and letting my mind wander. My mind wanted to review what happened yesterday. My first lesson of yesterday was that I could only make a habit if I can find the desire for that habit; but that was not what I was thinking about. My mind was thinking about a healing session I tried.

I think it is healthy to try new things and to be open-minded. I am a reflexologist and I agreed to exchange session with a healer, so I gave her a treatment of reflexology and she gave me a healing session. I couldn’t feel a thing, and I was a bit disappointed I admit. But this morning my mind was rethinking what happened and I realised that I was filled with some kind of calmness that I haven’t felt for a long time. Maybe that healing did something to me after all?

I have learned another lesson by that: I have to consider that maybe I’m pushing myself a bit too hard? I have to accept that my mind and body have limits. Things take time and so does the making of new habits. I have learned that as long as I make new habits I have to accept that I cannot make too many new habits at the same time because then I risk building an incomplete foundation instead of a strong and stable foundation.

My foundation consists of sleep; exercise; diet and cleaning cluttered areas both physically and mentally. But if I break up all of my existing foundation to build a new and stronger one, then what will support my development if I don’t have any foundation?

It would be like building a house without using a scaffold. The scaffold is only a temporary device that stabilises the house while building it. Without the scaffold the workers risk falling down and the working conditions will be too hard and too difficult. You risk that the house will never be finished.

My existing habits are making my current foundation, they are my scaffold and if I want to strengthen my foundation I have to accept that I can only work on some of the foundation at the time or I will not have any foundation at all. My mistake was finding a new habit to implement every week. That is too much.

The past two days have been very important in the making of new habits. To sum up I have learned:

1. You need desire

2. You have to accept that habits take time

3. Do not push yourself

4. Keep a peace of mind

This Is Your Foundation of Healthy Habits

foundation © by Martin Lopatka

If you want to change your life and realise your dreams it is easy to make the decision to do so; but it often turns out to be difficult to see where to begin and what to do; and what if it doesn’t work?

Today I will give you the main areas that form your foundation of healthy habits and resources to make a good decision.

1. Make a decision and a contract

The first and most important thing you have to do to succeed is make a decision that you really want to do this. You have to decide that no matter what happens you are going to do this; you will make this healthy habit. Then make a contract with yourself where you promise to make this healthy habit. This habit is the most important thing in your life! E.g. if you decide to get up at 6.30am every day – then shut out everything else, even emotions, and just get up!

If you can convince yourself that you are going to do this, then you are half way there. It will take a lot of self-discipline, but you can do it.

2. Choose a healthy habit

There are four main areas that you have to master:

I. Sleep

II. Exercise

III. Diet

IV. Clean up

Each area is subdivided and encompasses a wide range of habits to implement, but as long as you stick to a healthy habit within these areas you are on your way to better life.

Resource

I think most people have problems making a decision; it can be terrible hard to do. I found a good article about making a decision and stick to it, written by Natalie Lue on her blog ‘Baggage Reclaim’. The article is about relationships but she has a good description of how to make a decision that can be used in any situation. I think you will benefit from reading this.

6 Levels of Habits You Want

Good Habits © by Horia Varlan

Level #1: Physiological habits

The physiological habits are the basic habits that form the foundation of your life. You have to master these habits to be able to achieve on the next levels of the hierarchy of habits. Every day you should consider what you could do better. Ask yourself: What can I do today to improve my sleep? The next day you ask: What can I do today to improve my exercise? The day after you ask: What can I do today to improve my diet? The fourth day you ask: What can I do today to improve cleansing?

These are the four basic groups of this level and on the fifth day you start over asking yourself what you can do to improve your sleep. It is a never-ending cycle that will help you master the basics.

Level #2: Safety habits

You need a place to live and you need a job to earn an income and to give you an identity and a purpose of life. First of all you have to master the basics, the physiological habits, then you can work on your safety habits. You do not have to do this every day but you should at least once a week work on these habits.

Write down you dreams and goals for each of the groups on this level and review them once a week. Safety habits encompass home, work, economy and order. See what you can do next week to get closer to your dreams and make a to-do list.

Level #3: Social Habits (Habits of love and belonging)

I’m still working on this model and I have based The Hierarchy of Habits on Maslow’s hierarchy of need and Frankl’s additions. Thus, the terms will change a bit and in the future I will call this level Social Habits.

On this level you will take care of your social network. Like level two you should write down your dreams and goals and practice your social skills and do some networking. Make sure that you have positive people around you, and that they support you and your worldview; and get rid of toxic people. Toxic people are people that are negative and do not contribute to your well being.

Level #4: Esteem habits

This is the level of habits most people begin with and very often they fail because they will not succeed unless they master the basics! If you do not master especially the physiological habits then there is not a chance that you will succeed at this level. So, back to basics!

However, if you have made yourself a solid foundation of good habits then it is time for you to work on this level. The groups of these habits are: Self-confidence, self-esteem and achievement. Most people with psychological problems have symptoms on this level and I have written three series about these problems. I will give you a link to these series that comprise 36 articles!

13 Ways to Improve Your Self-Confidence

12 Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem

11 Traits of Successful People

I have had serious problems with my self-esteem; I worked on the basic physiological habits AND the two levels following those habits. Do I have self-esteem problems anymore? Yes, but only if I do not get my sleep, exercise or proper food!

Level #5: Self-actualisation habits

This is where you set your life goals and start thinking about how you can realise your dreams. Everything is possible as long as you set your mind to it. This level is extremely difficult if you do not master the basics, but if you do master the basics then this level will be fun and easy.

Level #6: Transcendence habits

I don’t know if you can make transcendence habits, because this level is more like a consequence of success on all the other levels. You will start seeing how everything is connected and the meaning of life will be clear to you. You will feel oneness and connected to the universe. This level is almost spiritual.


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