How To See Reality

The world we create by communicating, telling stories, is the way we see the world. It is the reality that we experience and describe with our language. A worldview is called a paradigm and is best described as a pair of glasses that you see through. One pair of glasses presents the reality in one way, while another pair of glasses makes the world look completely different.

Sometimes it is good to put on another pair of glasses to see the world from another perspective. That would make it easier to understand how other people see the world and it would help us develop better relationships. Often other people’s paradigms room possibilities we cannot see with our own pair of glasses.

Once you have experienced the world from another perspective, it will never be the same again.

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How To Learn The Rules – And Benefit

Presuming that you know what you want and where to get it the next step is learning the rules to be accepted and to benefit from the network you take part in. When you enter a social network it is very important to keep a low profile, listen and observe. You need to understand what other members of the network do and why they do it. Be very careful about critic. No matter how well-founded your critics may be – you are better off keeping it to yourself.

If you do not agree on the way things work, then focus on the positive things and keep the negative things to yourself. Usually people are well aware of things that do not work but they do not like being reminded about it; especially not from new members of the network. You will get much more respect if you turn you focus to something positive and make sure you communicate the positive things. It is okay to exaggerate, it will only make people laugh and if you can make someone laugh it is a sign of accept and respect.

For example: You start a new job and the computers suck. They never work and the software is outdated. It is almost impossible to get your work done and it is extremely annoying. It would be so easy to get new computers or to update the software and it is incredible that no one has taken the responsibility yet. What do you do? You could point it out and take initiative to change the computers. But remember that people in general do not like changes; they prefer to keep something that does not work because they know what they have, but they do not know what they will get. Do not try to change anything if you are new in a network! Find a positive focus and communicate it. Say e.g. “Hey, look at all the nice colours on my screen!” in a very enthusiastic voice or say “Great! You really keep your keyboard nice and clean!”

Life is a game

Life is like a game only more complex and with a lot more participants! When you and your friends play games you have certain rules that you agree to follow in order to decide who wins and on what terms they win. The rules also define the game; if you change a rule it will be a different game. This is interesting because life also consists of rules both explicit and implicit.

Do you like the game you are playing? If not, then play another game and set new rules! Just make sure the game has other players or it will become tedious. Playing alone is not fun. Do you like the life you are living? If not, then change your life by taking part in a social context (game) that appeals to your rules of life. Maybe it is time to change your rules?

If you want something in life, e.g. a job, you need to learn the rules that people at that specific workplace have agreed on. Even if you have better rules, you still have to learn the existing rules in order to be accepted. When you have learned the rules, people will trust you and you can suggest a change of the rules. But if you do not accept the rules from the beginning then you will not be allowed to take part.

How To Rule Your Life

In philosophy rules are norms of how you ought to feel, believe or act.

Rules are not necessarily right or the truth. Rules are what the majority prefers you to do if you want to belong to the norm.

This is important to understand, because if you do not want to follow the rules given by the majority in your network, then you will be perceived as being abnormal and you will feel outside. There is nothing wrong about that if that makes you happy. But if you want to belong to a specific network or if you need something in life, then you have to learn the rules to get where you want.

I find most rules ridiculous and I have made up my own rules of life, but it made my life extremely difficult and lonely. I decided to learn the rules, but on my own premises and that really turned my life around. I am now a part of a large network and I feel more successful.

You can learn the rules as well and still be happy. You have probably met people in your life that do strange things or thing that seem abnormal. How did these people make you feel? Did they make you feel safe or comfortable? Usually people doing things we are not used to, makes us feel uncomfortable. Maybe they make us laugh or maybe they evoke our curiosity, but would we trust them right away? No, we would not! Since lack of trust is connected to anxiety and fear, we will take distance to people that act different than expected by the norm. No matter how open-minded we are, we will unconsciously take distance. This way we will push people that act different to the rim of our social network. Do not feel bad about this it is a natural mechanism of our body’s system of defence. You just need to understand how this system works to rule your own life.

The Secret About Giving

If you want your network to give you what you need, you have to contribute to the network. This means that you constantly have to make clear to yourself, and others, what you can give that have value to other people. Be aware that something of low value to you may have great value to others.

Do not expect to get what you need from people you give to. But trust that what you need will come to you when the time is right and sometimes from unexpected sources.

Also know that you will only get what you need if you communicate your needs. People who want to give can only give if they know what to give. Help your network to give and be ready to receive!

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