How To Exceed Your Limits (part 2 of 3)

Discover your personal mental barriers and question them. Whenever they pop up saying – impossible then you need to ask yourself – why?

E.g. if you and your partner want to go abroad next Christmas then it is likely that you stay home because you cannot leave the rest of the family. What would your parents say? And what about all the presents? You also have to go to church etc. If you really want to get away then start questioning your barriers. Why can you not leave the family? What would really happen? It is a question about consequences and dealing with those consequences. Maybe your mother gets sad that you will not celebrate Christmas at home.

Of course your family would like to celebrate Christmas with you but at least you can deal with that and make them understand why you want to travel instead. Sometimes the consequences are worse than we imagine and sometimes they are not. But it is important to understand the consequences instead of just saying – I cannot do that, or – that is impossible!

When you know the consequences of exceeding your limits, then you can take action and find a way to deal with these consequences. I have practised taekwondo for almost 20 years and in my first years as taekwondo student I look at my instructor doing high site kicks and I thought to myself that I would never be able to do that – I cannot lift my leg that high! After some time I questioned my belief in the impossible. I decided that if my instructor can do it, then so can I.

The consequence of the decision was long hours of patient practice doing the same over and over again while stretching and kicking. I did this four times a week for one year on the side of usual training. 17 years later I can still do a nice high site kick!

In part three I will show how focus, discipline, willpower and feeling of oneness help you.

How To Exceed Your Limits (part 1 of 3)

Understand that the world holds endless of possibilities; everything is possible if you really want it. From the beginning of our lives we did not know of any limits or barriers. Throughout upbringing we are taught barriers and limits; they are quite practical because they help us coexist but they can also stand in our way. We tend to set up mental barriers that stop us from getting the feeling of success.

If I said to my family: “Hey! I finally figured out what I want in life – I want to be the next president!” – they would roll on their backs laughing and claiming that would be impossible. But why would it be impossible? It is a high ambition, but not impossible. If it was impossible then presidents would not exist, but they do exist.

A lot of people do not get what they want in life because they have created at worldview in which those dreams are impossible. They have created barriers based on culture, expectations, right and wrong. If you really want something in life then the first thing you have to do is believe that you can get it. Then put your mind to it and remove your own personal mental barriers.

In part two I will show you how to question your barriers.

The Secret About Time

“The only reason for time is so that everything does not happen at once”, said Albert Einstein. I think this quote illustrates that time is a construction; time is something we have invented to be able to understand parts of a complex world. It is essential for us to be able to measure and compare events in order to better understand them. Time is a tool for measurement and comparison.

Immanuel Kant maintains that time does not exist but time is a product of the way we represent things. But things change constantly and nothing is as it was. People change in body and mind throughout life; they are very small in the beginning and then they get bigger and then they turn grey. We split the cycle of life into phases to better describe what happens when we age. But in fact the process cannot be split, as it is an ongoing process.

My point is: Do not worry about time related issues like age or mealtimes. Time does not decide how old you are and time should not dictate when to eat and drink. People often judge my age to be about 8 years less than time claims. Some people look older than they are and others younger. Age is a measurement we use to describe phases in life.

Start using common sense and understand how you feel and act accordingly. If you feel hungry – eat; if you feel thirsty – drink; if you feel younger – be younger; if you feel older – be older.

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How To Put The Time To Good Use

About 18 years ago I lost my watch and I felt awful. Suddenly I did not know what time I was and how can anyone live without knowing the time? Well – today I am happy to say that I feel more joy and less stress without knowing the exact time.

20 years ago I would only wear waterproof watches because then I did not have to take it of when I took a shower. My watch never ever left my wrist. I lost it the one time I did take it of and of course I got a new one after a couple of months. Being without a watch for a couple of months made me think. I noticed that I looked at my watch quite often and sometimes, when people saw that I looked at my watch, they would ask me – What time is it? – The strange thing was … I did not know! I had to look again!

The moment that it occurred to me that I looked at my watch without actually seeing the time I decided never to wear a watch again. I used to be stressed about time and all the things I had to do before a certain time and quite often there were things I did not do because I did not think there would be time enough to do it.

Today I do not have a watch to wear and I do not have visible watches anywhere in my flat. I found that living beings have a very good sense of time and I am usually able to state the time within a ten minutes margin. Instead of relying on a watch telling me what to do I am listening to my mind and body; and that have opened a new world to me where I really get a lot of things done because I am seldom stressed and never have to worry about time.

How do I make appointments on time? – I use my phone to remind me when to leave home. But I only do this for appointments where time matters. E.g. Last week my girlfriend and I had to visit my sister. We promised to be there before dinner but no specific time. We did not know when the bus would leave, so we just went to the bus terminal when we were ready. It was a 15 minutes walk and we had a good chat and fun on our way. We enjoyed the sun and everything around us; we were relaxed and happy. We arrived one minute before departure – it was perfect timing! But I am sure that if we knew this, we would have stressed all the way to the bus terminal and we would have been sweaty and exhausted and all the way we would have worried if we would make it in time.

Time is not all that important; remember that time is something we invented to make life easier, but do not let time rule your life.

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How To Choose Your Reality

To find the truth we choose to base it on the stories we find most trustworthy. We automatically trust stories that are told by our close friends, because we do not see any reason for them to lie to us. But we tend to ignore that they could be misinformed and tell stories that are at variance with reality; or maybe they just reproduce reality from their own point of view. We also trust stories that the majority are convinced represent reality; e.g. the medias.

It is worth keeping this in back of our mind when we communicate messages to our surroundings. If you tell something to someone you do not know, it is most likely that this person will seek verification from someone he knows better. That is why you have to look and act trustworthy if you want people to adapt your worldview. E.g. you are at a job interview; if what you say and how you dress is inconsistent, then you will not get the job because you do not appear trustworthy.

Another example: Whom do you vote for at elections and how do you justify your choice of candidate? Most people base their choice on the stories told in the medias and a lot of people just choose their candidate because he dresses nice and seem sympathetic.

To be welcome in other people’s worlds you need to reflect a worldview that they can identify with.

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