The Secret of Receiving Is Giving

Time Jumper © by h.koppdelaney

Last week was terrible! I worked for almost 80 hours and being social was more an obligation than pleasure. I have learned that exhaustion doesn’t raise the quality of my work and it doesn’t make me a good company either.

I did not manage to write my blogs and I had to deliver rubbish two days in a row. I have to be more careful when planning work in order to deliver quality.

This morning I was thinking that if I were better at networking, then maybe I didn’t have to work as much as I do now?

I read a small and wise book a couple of years ago called “The Go-Giver” and basically the message was to give in order to receive. Everything you want from life you have to give out.

So, what is it that I want since I work so much and do I get it? I clearly don’t get what I want since I keep struggling.

This is what I want

I want money so that I can pay my bills and provide food and a bit of fun.

I want to earn a living writing.

I want more clients in my clinic so that I don’t have to do extra work elsewhere.

I want to be able to spend more time with my girlfriend, my family and my friends.

I want to exercise or to give my home more attention.

This is what I have to give

To get what I want I need someone to give it to me. But why should anyone give me what I want and how can they give me what I want? Basically I’m asking for time and money. Isn’t that what we all want?

The secret is to be specific about what I want and then take one thing at the time and figure out how I can add value to my network in order to get what I need.

E.g. to make a living blogging I have to write something people would want to read. I also have to find readers for what I write. Thus, I have to give quality content and show it to people whom value the content.

At the present time I have a lot of quality to deliver, but I don’t have anyone to receive it. That is why I have to focus on networking.

The best way to get success is to network and to add value to your network. You cannot get success alone!

Fail and You Will Succeed!

FAIL stamp © by hans.gerwitz

Sometimes failure can be demotivating, but failing is actually a good thing. If you change your view on failure then you will stop fearing failure. The only way to succeed and reach your goals is by failing a lot of times. People who do not fail do not have success! People with success seem to do everything right, but the far from do! They just choose to put focus on their successes rather than their failures.

What is the point of promoting all the failures you did when you present the result of your success? Failure serves you on your way towards your goals by teaching you what works well and what does not. After many attempts to reach your goals and dreams you get there because you know more about getting there than anyone else does. You got all this knowledge by failing.

If you lost your motivation because you failed, then you need to change your perspective on failure and believe in yourself; change your believe system. Do you think the football champions became champions the first time they entered the field? No, and they did not become champions the second time either! They became champions because they really wanted to and because the believed it was possible!

Why would they believe that after loosing their first 100 games? Because they have seen other teams make it to the top and if those teams can do it the so can this team. They did it because the wanted to, because the believed it was possible and that they had the potential.

To succeed in life and reach the goals you set on your way, you have to focus. You have to be 100 % present in what you are doing. Do not try reaching your goals, you should not just be trying, because you have the potential to do it and you can do it if you want to. Do not try – just do it! Learn by your failures because the will show you the path to success.

Life is hard and you will fail a lot of times, that is because success comes through failure, but trust me, you can do it; you have the potential and if other people can do it then so can you! Everything is possible! – Never give up and do not let other people define what is possible and what is not.

The Secret of Achievement: Recovery!

PhoTones Works #624 © by PhoTones_TAKUMA

Do you want to be excellent at running and win competitions? Let us say that you are a runner or any other athlete of a discipline you want to achieve mastery in. You decide to practice running every day and sometimes twice a day. You push yourself to the limit every time you run, but no matter how much you practice your results seem to get worse. Why?

The answer is quite simple; all training is degradation of the body. It is simple logic; if you use something it will degrade. If you use the same shirt every day for one year then it will be worn out; the shirt will degrade. So will you if you keep training twice a day. The difference between you and your shirt is that you can regenerate and the shirt cannot.

How do you increase the service life of your shirt? You take care of it by cleaning it, repairing it and most importantly, you wear other shirts. You do not have just one shirt you have several shirts in different colours and designs. The same goes for your body. You have to give your body rest to regenerate; it is called the recovery phase and is a very important part of all training.

When you give your shirt a rest you wear another shirt because you cannot run around half-naked. If you want to achieve running then you have to practice something else while recovering from running. That is why you need to plan training carefully to optimise training.

The principle applies in all aspects of your life!

Okay, you do not want to be a world champion in some athletic discipline, but the principle applies anyway. In every aspect of your life you have to remember the recovery phase! If you want to achieve anything today, tomorrow, next week and in your life then you have to optimise your tasks and incorporate rest to recover.

If you do not make time for recovery you will get stressed and worn out; you will feel tired and it will be difficult for you to focus. The meaning of life will seem difficult to find. You do not have to sit and do nothing to recover. Variation in you routines is enough. Of course, you have to fulfil some basic needs like sleep, diet and exercise, but variation is a very important part of development. When you work on your development in all aspects of your life then you will achieve more.

I found an interesting article on the net about mastery and relaxation that I recommend reading.

A Simple Life Strategy

writing in the journal © by redcargurl

I talked to a friend yesterday and she is looking for a job and has been looking for a while. I asked her what kind of job she is looking for and she answered – something in marketing. I then asked her what position wanted and she answered – any position! When I asked her what industry she wanted to work in she answered – that doesn’t matter, only not finance!

If you recognise this situation then it is time for you to figure out what you want, because if you do not know what you want then how will you ask for it? You have to know exactly what you want in life. If you want a job you have to know exactly what position you want, what company you want to work for etc. In life you have to be very specific about what you want and how to get it.

A strategy is a plan of action to reach your goals. Your life strategy is a plan of action that includes your resources and how you are going to use these resources to reach you goals in life. It is a huge project, life long, to create and carry out a strategy to your goals but the strategy itself has some simple core items.

  1. Clarity. What exactly do you want in life? That is your goals.
  2. Resources. Know your resources; they are your means to reach your goals.
  3. Planning. How are you going to use your resources to reach your goals?
  4. Action. Roll up your sleeves and get down to it!

Simple example: You are thirsty. Before you drink you have to figure out what you want to drink and how to get it. You decide that you want water. You are at the office waiting for an important phone call; you cannot leave your desk. What are your resources? There is a water cooler next door; you have an empty bottle and three colleagues. You know one of them frequently goes next door to get printouts. Now you make a plan; next time your colleague is going to get a printout you will ask him to fill your bottle and say thank you for helping you out. Take action!

If you are 100 % clear about what you want in a specific situation and you know your resources and how to get it, then I can guarantee that you will get it! That goes for anything you want in life.

I Was Hurt! – Who Cares?

Erik Fool's hat

Fool? - I don't think so! @ Erik Back 2011

Today I felt hurt; first I got annoyed then angry; but after a bit of moping I turned my feelings into something positive. This post is a follow up story to my article “6 Ways to Stop Being Over Sensitive”.

Who cares if I was hurt by a stupid comment on my blog today? No one! (Well, except my mother.) It does not help complaining about other people’s wrong doings; you have to take responsibility for the situation and turn it into something good. That is what I did.

Today some guy posted a comment saying: – Learn how to spell fool! I thought to myself that this comment tells more about the commenter than about me. I decided to investigate the accusation of me being a fool: I have a master of science in economics; I have studied philosophy and culture in five different languages at the university; my post in question has been read by more than 15.000 visitors an more than 100 visitors have shared and liked it. My conclusion was that I am not a fool.

Then I examined my spelling; well, I must admit that I am not perfect in writing, but I think I do pretty well considering Danish is my native language. I sometimes mix up different languages because apart from Danish and English I also speak Spanish, German and Russian. Thus, I do not have to feel bad about my spelling. But I like learning something new and I want to become better at expressing myself. I found that I had used a word that does not look good: “Learnings”. It is grammatically incorrect and a bad habit invented in the world of marketing and business. Furthermore I discovered that I had left out a word!

Thanks to the commenter my post is now better than before; I learned something new about “learnings”; and I got an idea for my next series of posts on this blog: How to Be Nice to People.

You have to remember that cannot expect everybody to like you; there will always be someone who disagrees with you and negative people will always exist. You just have to choose to put focus on the positive and forget about the people who do not contribute in a positive way. You have the potential to do good things, so keep doing what you want to do and never give up because of negative comments.

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