Focus on What You Want, but Don’t Ignore the Problems

Tunnel of Light © Erik Back 2011

I’m working on an ebook titled “6 Powerful Mechanisms Behind Personal Change”. This post is an extract of the chapter about positive attitude. Also read [The Nature of Attitude]

Having a positive attitude does not imply that you ignore the problems or negative experiences. It is a choice of focus.

When I took my drivers license back in 1988 my driving instructor said something wise. He said something that has helped me improve my driving as well as my life.

He was giving me a driving lesson at night and as we were driving on a small road with heavy traffic he said to me: – Don’t look at the headlights! Look at the roadside.

At first I thought he was mad. I felt I had to keep an eye on the heavy traffic because I did not want to crash into an oncoming truck. I could not see anything but light, I was blinded by the headlight of the other cars.

My instructor explained to me that when I focus on the headlights I would unknowingly steer towards the headlights. The strong light would attract me. But if I focus on the roadside I would automatically aim for the side of the road.

The point is that I knew about the heavy traffic and the danger of driving too close to the oncoming cars. I also knew that I did not want to crash into an oncoming truck. My driving instructor reminded me of what I wanted; I wanted to drive safely as close to the roadside as possible. By focusing on the roadside I chose a positive focus and got rid of my fear of crashing. We had a safe a pleasant trip.

I have remembered his instructions since that day, because life is just like that driving lesson. Your life will go in the direction that you focus. If you focus on the problems, you will get a life with problems. If you focus on the positive then you will get a life full of positive experiences.

Choosing a positive focus is about accepting and learning from negative experiences and find out what you want in life and put focus on that instead.

Do you want a life full of problems?

Do you want a life full of positive experiences?

When You Rephrase Reality You Gain Exciting Opportunities


Rephrase © Erik Back 2012

Your phrasing habits make your reality. The words you use and the way you put them together form your perception of reality.

If you have a habit of applying negative words to all your sentences then your reality will be negative. The wind ruins your haircut; the rain wets your car; the dog next door keeps you awake and the sales assistant frowns upon your choice of style.

Choosing words that support your dreams and goals will attract people that can relate to what you say because they share your view of reality.

In the examples above you will attract self-centered people who focus on negative aspects of life. How will they help you reach your life goals? – They won’t!

Share realities

Imagine that all people have a pair of glasses; each pair of glasses are different so, reality looks different depending on the glasses you see through.

When you exchange glasses with someone, you see how this person’s reality looks like and to combine the two realities you adjust both pair of glasses to represent a reality you both agree on.

To exchange glasses you have to listen to the other person and tell about your own reality.

1. Listen to other people’s points of view; it is most likely that they don’t see reality the way you do. If you listen to people you will understand their reality and you can combine it with your own reality.

2. Tell your stories, but mind inappropriate phrasing. Pay attention to the words you choose and how they help convey your perception of reality. It is possible that you have to change some phrasing habits.

When you share or combine two or more perceptions of realities then a new one will emerge. That reality will be filled with new and exciting opportunities waiting to be explored. These opportunities will clear the way to your dreams and goals.

My New Strategy

Books © by shutterhacks

I have written a 264-page book about change and development. This book is in Danish and still unpublished even though it is ready for printing. I have done a major research in change and development where I keep focus on the good habits of a stable foundation. It would only be natural for me to continue this focus on this blog. That is why I am going to change the categories and find a narrow focus that can assist you in your personal development and life improvement.

The future of Intelligentsia will carry keywords like:

  • Habits
  • Change
  • Development
  • Stability
  • Foundation

My vision is to create a blog that will help you to find a good path in life. The means that I will use to get there are good habits and a stable foundation.

My educational background is in strategy and management supplemented by philosophy. Although I have great insight in other disciplines I am going to focus on a few keywords that I will approach from the angle of a strategist and manager, because that is what I am good at. Using philosophy I can develop strategies that you can benefit from and I can teach you how to manage these strategies to optimise your life.

The point of this post is that to get success you have to focus on what you are good at. Do not focus on everything that seems interesting because that will keep you floating around without a specific goal. I have started defining my goal and figuring out what you can expect from my writings in the future.

  • I am good at making strategies!
  • I am a fantastic manager!
  • I have an excellent mind!

These are my resources that I will use on this blog; I will use strategy, management and philosophy to give you some of the best tools on the web to assist you in your personal development.

Focus Is the Key to Success

door key © by woodleywonderworks

You know the situation; you come home late at night; you are tired and it is dark. You fumble with your keys – why do all keys look alike in the dark? You finally find a key that seems to fit your front door, but the key will not go into to the keyhole. You try again and again, but it does not work. You conclude it must be the wrong key and you fumble a bit with the bunch of keys. You remind yourself to sort out the keys you do not need anymore; you will definitely do it tomorrow.

Another key seems to be the right one – or is this the same key as you tried before? You give it a try but keeps missing the keyhole; you start getting annoyed; you bend down to get a better look at the keyhole but you still miss the keyhole. After a while you are in a very bad mood and you toss the keys start knocking the door until someone opens it. It does not seem to open and you recall that you live alone and there is no one behind the door to open it.

How do you get in? How do you reach your goal? Not by trying random keys and by missing the target over and over! To unlock the door and get in you need to focus. You have to find the right key and focus on the target to unlock that door. If the door is still locked then you need to evaluate if you have the right key and if it is focused.

I have been writing this blog for about four months and another in Danish for a little more than a month. The Danish blog is about reflexology and it is written in Danish and it seems to be more focused than this blog is. This blog does not seem to catch on. That is why I decided to re-evaluate and ask myself: Do I have the right key and am I focused? My answer was: No!

Well, I do write about life improvement and development but the topic is too broad. I realise that I have to narrow it down if I want success. That is what I am working on right now; I want to narrow down the focus to be able to hit the target and unlock the door to success.

A few days ago I started a series about tests to find your personal profile; they are fun and interesting and I really recommend exploring tests that will give you greater insight, but I also have to let you down and start narrowing down my focus on this blog. I am not going to give you more test ideas but I will take you on a small journey that will show you how I find my focus on this blog.