Frustration © Erik Back 2012
I’m writing this bit because I easily get frustrated. When something goes wrong I immediately twist the event in my mind and suddently everything seems to go bad. I can’t help wondering what makes people feel frustrated and what can we do to stop the frustrations?
Browsing the Internet gave me a few insights from an article at Erupting Minds:
- Ignoring frustration leads to pain
- Fustration is due to unfulfilled needs
- Long term ignoring results in depression
- The feeling of frustration comes from not being able to satisfy your needs, wants or desires through your own actions and efforts.
- Frustration is lack of control of your life.
- Lack of control leads to uncertainty and fear.
- Frustration is loss of personal control
- A person that is frustrated feel trapped; this cause them to feel fear
- Frustration is a means to success
This morning I listened to a speech by Tony Robbins; he explained how we need uncertainty in our life. Uncertainty will give frustrations, so, how can uncertainty be something we need?
Maybe the problem in my frustrations are that I don’t know how to deal with them. By learning about my frustrations I will turn uncertainty and frustration into an asset that will fulfill my needs?
There a basically three ways to deal with a situation:
- Accept things as they are
- Leave the situation
- Try to change the situation
Four ways to stop frustration
- What I’m doing now is not working; find a different apporoach.
- Identify the feeling: Fear or anger?
- What am I doing that is not working?
- Do something to satisfy a currently unfulfilled need
Seven feelings and their message
- Boredom (the need for mental stimulation)
- Anger (a feeling that something is unjust)
- Fear (you feel threatend by something)
- Sadness (you are not happy with the way things are)
- Loneliness (the need to be with others)
- Stress (you need some time to relax)
- Feelings of inadequacy (you don’t feel confident in your abilities)
To find out what to do to satisfy a currently unfulfilled need, Ihave to be persistent. I have to try again and again before I succeed. Frustration often comes out of failure of some kind; but success, says Edison, comes from faliure. So, in som bizarre way, my frustration is the first step to success, provided I choose to act upon it.
How to find the need to fulfill
Step 1: What is causing me to feel frustrated?
Step 2: What is it I am trying to do?
Step 3: What need am I trying to fulfill?
By asking these questions I can better identify what my primary feeling is.
Tony Robbins: Resources are not success, resourcefulness is!
Trying harder will not help you fulfill your need, but trying a different approach will!
This post is a working paper. It’s purpose is to explore frustration.