Change Makes Me Uncomfortable

Butterfly © Erik Back 2011

Do we like change? I’m not so sure that change is part of human nature. Change is not something we strive for.

Take a look at nature. It is predictable. Certain cycles are repeated over and over again.

Nature change, but it changes within a cycle or pattern e.g. seasons change, plants change with the seasons and night changes to day. But you never see nature skip a season or two nights in a row.

Is Your Seat Taken?

Do you know the feeling of entering you favourite coffee shop to find out that someone else has taken ‘your’ seat? It makes you uncomfortable for a second or more. Maybe you leave or maybe you find another place to sit.

After a while you get used to you new seat and giving it up would make you momentarily uncomfortable again.

I Love and Hate Change

Change is good in the long run because I know that change will bring me to the next stage of something. I usually get to something better by making changes. But I think people are reluctant to change because it does not feel good before they have actually made the change.

I prefer to be in control of change. Personal change is something I decide to do, but when change is forced upon me I feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

If my seat is taken or I run out of coffee it disturbs my routines and that makes me uncomfortable. It shouldn’t matter but it does, even if it is only momentarily because I have to break a good routine to find a new one. I like to be on top of things.

Big Changes Are Stressing

In general I embrace change because I know it will bring new opportunities that make life worth living. Big changes are like training for a marathon; it hurts getting there but reaching the goal is worth the pain.

But it is difficult for me to handle more than one or two big changes at a time. I cannot train for the marathon and win The Polar Circle Race at the same time.

Lately there has been too many changes and it is stressing. Six months ago I had a stable life and I was in control of the changes.

Suddenly my life looked like the day after an earthquake that has ruined most of the city. Fortunately most of the changes are good changes but they are stressing never the less.

What changed so dramatically? Well, in December my business partner got financial problems and I had to find new premises. I found a new partner and moved into my new premises in January.

One week later my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. At first the news were shocking but now we are happy about it.

In February my new partner got financial problems and I am now again without premises for my business.

In March two other business partners made cuttings and suddenly my business is crumbling.

In May I got married. A good change, but it does have a big impact on my worldview.

Good thing that I have healthy habits. I exercise a lot by attending swim practice twice a week. Well, that was until yesterday when I found out the team has been closed down.

The Changes Are Good

It’s not that the changes are bad. The is a solution to all the changes and most of them opens new and exciting opportunities, but they have been out of my control and it is extremely stressing.

I am going to spend this summer recovering and finding my new place in life. I cannot do more than one thing at the time. That is why I will take time planning new goals and developing new routines and habits.

Hopefully I learn new things in the process that I can share on this site.

Meanwhile, I would love to hear about your experiences with big changes and how you dealt with them.

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