How to Be Nice to People: Show Interest

cross arm © by JASON ANFINSEN

Some of the nicest people I know show genuine interest in how I am doing. They do not solve my problems but the do listen to me because they are interested and want good things to happen to me. They give the most valuable thing that anyone can give; they give themselves.

They give themselves by listening to you; they listen and understand and they make you realise what to do about the problem that is nagging you. Thus, if you want to be nice to people then start a conversation by asking how they are doing and then listen! Do not start talking about yourself, just listen and keep asking. At some point people will feel comfortable and start asking you.

I have listed a few things of what you can do to become better at listening and showing interest.

Eye contact: Look into the eyes of the person you listen to. If you let yourself distract and look elsewhere it will look like you do not care and that you have no interest in what is being told. By keeping eye contact you demonstrate that nothing is more important at that moment and that you are present and ready to listen and understand; that is genuine interest.

Communicate understanding: Show that you are listening by nodding and using confirming sounds and words. By doing this the person will become more open and talk more because you are showing interest.

Body language: Show your hands; and by that I mean you should keep you hands visible because if you cross you arms or stick your hands in you pockets then you will communicate mistrust and lack of interest. One of the best ways to gain the speakers trust is by copying the speaker’s body language. Unconsciously people copy each other’s body language when they feel comfortable together and you can use that knowledge to show interest.

Respond to what is being said. If the speaker tells you something shocking then look shocked and if the speaker gives good news then look happy and smile.

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