How to Improve Self-Confidence: Positive Language

Yellowed pages from a dictionary © by Horia Varlan

I do not want to screw up! I hope it is not going to rain today. Why do I always stand in the slow line? I do not want cold coffee today etc. I know I have said it many times and I will continue repeating because it is very important: You need to have a positive focus; you have to focus on what you want, not what you do not want; you have to focus on what can do, not on what you cannot do.

I want …

I can …

You can get a positive focus by using your language. E.g. start all sentences with a positive word like: I want, I can or start with adjectives like: Great, fantastic, nice, cool, lovely etc. Example: Great cup of coffee you made today; fantastic job I did on the computer. If you are about to say something negative like – f… it is going to rain today! Then rephrase and say – I want to see the sun today!

In the negative case you would focus on every minute it rains but in the positive case you would focus on the sunny periods of the day. That will make you more happy and energetic.

Use the language

We use the language to construct the reality we live in. Niels Bohr said that we will always have a need to describe our findings and we can only do that within the limitations of our language. He also said that the truth depends on the eyes that see. Thus, you have the opportunity to choose your reality and present it with you language. You have to communicate your confidence and success in language and action.

Now, use your language to cause action; use it to make life go in the direction you want it to go; use it to strengthen your self-confidence and to make people acknowledge your actions and your success. Fantasy outshines reality and that is why you should take the opportunity to communicate your reality about yourself before other people make up another reality.

Let me give you an example: If you say to people that you are very bad at playing cards then how do you think the chances are that anyone will invite you to play? If you say that you love playing cards and that you would like to get better at it, then people are more likely to invite you.

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