How To Build Your Self-Esteem: Socialise

Coffee & Bikes © by Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious

Throughout lower school I was used to bullying and frequent beatings. But things changed in high school; it was like a new beginning where people did not know me. When I started high school it was tradition to go on a get-to-know-each-other trip.

On the trip we gathered in the sleeping quarters to play cards, talk and – well… – to socialise. I thought to myself how lucky I was that all these people let me join the fun instead of beating me up. Although I thought that I was joining the fun I was really just standing at the entrance watching the others have fun. I did not realise that until one of the girls asked me to join a game of cards. I almost bolted out the door but decided to go and socialise and from that day my self-esteem started to get better.

If you isolate yourself your world will be limited and your life will stagnate. If you socialise you will open for development and change. You need development to be happy and to see the meaning of life. If you socialise you will feel part of something larger than yourself and people will acknowledge you, which is very important for your self-esteem. You will always have someone to support you when you face difficult times.

It is easy to socialise because all you have to do is go where people are. You do not have to have a purpose for a meeting, just call someone for a cup of coffee or go to an event or join a course about stickmen in the 18th century. Seek people and say “Hi!” and smile, then listen. That is all you have to do. I guarantee that it works because I have been in isolation and I know how it feels like to be alone … and I broke the spell!

Task no. 4: Invite someone for a cup of coffee at a café. Say “hi!” to someone you would like to talk to and see what happens. Get an eye contact and smile to someone you do not know.

If you are afraid of taking the contact then read my post about how to challenge fear.

I found a great article about socialisation here.

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