How To Build Your Self-Esteem: Small Successes

CandlelightSelf-esteem is one of the most important things you have to work on in life development. Your self-esteem is developed early in life in the age of 3-6 yrs. If you have traumatic experiences from that period then your self-esteem needs work.

This post is about building self-esteem through small successes. The human brain is very complex and we still do not know its potential to the full. We have an unconscious mind that helps protect us from bad things.

E.g. the first time a child sees a candle flame the child will be amazed and curious. The child will feel attracted and want to investigate this new fascinating phenomenon. All senses will be used when exploring something new and vision is the first, next the sense of smell, then the sense of hearing. Now the child wants to feel and taste as well. The child will put his fingers into the flame and experience intense heat that makes the unconscious register danger. A defence system makes the child pull his fingers away. Next time the child sees a flame he will register danger before touching the flame.

This is a very useful human feature in life. But sometimes the unconscious registers danger when it should not. If the child experiences something traumatic early in life, then he will link the experience to what he made at that moment and feel that what he did was bad. The unconscious of the child will be convinced that his actions are not good enough and the feeling of success stays away. Later in life the adult child will avoid taking action and prefer to stay anonymous.

Task no. 1: Every day you have to list five small things you want to accomplish that day. They have to be small and easy tasks that you list on a to-do list. When you finish a task you check it on the list and take a minute enjoying the satisfaction of a job well done. When the day is over then take a look at all the things you did successfully. Make small tasks like paying a bill, making that call or cleaning up your desk. The actions have to be small and easy to demonstrate to yourself that you are capable of achieving goals. Sometimes you will fail, but do not worry because every time you fail you learn something new – and that is a success!

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